This post has taken a little too long in the writing for my liking, mostly through plain old procrastination.
It has required honesty and the courage to admit a few things to myself [and also now to others]. Things I’ve perhaps sat on the fence about for a while.
As I’ve wrestled with my honesty and found my courage, I have returned again and again to this clip of Will Smith where he talks about his philosophy for success.
If you have the time, I recommend you watch all 10 minutes. It will be the best 10 minutes of your day. For the purpose of this post, skip forward to 05:46. It really hits the spot.
Go ahead, watch it now, I’ll wait…
You see, life in middle state is comfortable. Stressful at times, but comfortable. Some days are crazy and I feel totally unproductive, ineffective and downright rubbish across all areas of life. Other days I feel like I’ve got it all going on, hot working mama for the win!
What I’ve realised is this, middle state isn’t enough for me. Middle state just leads to a confusion in my head and in my heart. Where I end up feeling pulled in different directions, trying my best to deliver to everyone who needs me. The knock on effect is the person I deliver to least, is myself.
All or nothing
I’ve always been a little bit of an ‘all or nothing’ kinda girl. If I do something, I want to be good at it. Real good.
As a child, nothing felt like it was out of my reach. While my childhood was filled with the reality of financial limitations, I believed I could achieve great things – that dreaming beyond my reality was perfectly reasonable. A sense of invincibility, and of nothing being unrealistic.
When reality bites
Then, reality came knocking. One of my most vivid memories growing up is being told to ‘live in the real world’, to ‘quit daydreaming and come down to earth; to ‘live in reality’. Sensible advice perhaps, but also rather crushing of my aspirations for a big life.
I will probably never know for sure if these comments had a sneaking effect on my goal-chasing-gusto. Did they lodge themselves in the back of my head all these years, quietly convincing me I wasn’t good enough for all my big dreams? That my big dreams were for someone else to live.
Perhaps. But even after all these years, there remains a part of me that still harbours those big dreams and craves the big life I lusted after all those years ago. That, I think, is why middle state sits a little uncomfortably on my shoulders.
Don’t think, do
“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt
There’s a real feeling in my bones that if not now, never. That I am standing before an opportunity to ride the rocket ship at Buffer, and ride it hard.
What is it they say? You have to name it to claim it? Maybe the solution is to declare to all the people around me that ‘these are my dreams and I am chasing them‘. Perhaps then, the cheerleaders in my life will back me all the way and offer their support to help make them a reality.
Exiting the road to mediocrity
“Being realistic is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity.” Will Smith
There’s a stark reality happening here. I can continue zooming along the highway to mediocrity or I can take the next exit and select a new destination.
And if mediocrity doesn’t quite fit with the life I dreamed for myself, surely there is only one conclusion?
To dream big and be unrealistic.